Kale2create’s Weblog

Why is it that a family vacation is not a vacation away from family but spent with family? That doesn’t seem like much of a vacation to me. Seriously, I don’t know about you but it seems that every time I go on a family vacation, I come home feeling like I need a vacation from my vacation. Why can’t our society accommodate having two types of vacation: family and self?

After the past 6 months that have been so intense, I NEEDED to have a self-type vacation. Our family “vacation” was supposed to be spent at a family wedding on a beautiful island (destination wedding) and a nice camping/biking trip after (with just my husband and I). Instead, we spent a few days in the hospital with my dad (away from our family doctors and home town and country for that matter), we missed the wedding, it poured rain and we camped near some folks who didn’t understand what quiet time was. In the end, we bagged the whole trip and came home early. Now we’re off to work and school again and I can’t seem to remember having the vacation I planed and was looking forward to for the past 6 months!

Not that I don’t love my family, but this trip was ridiculous! Not to mention way more expensive than it was supposed to be for a number of reasons (don’t worry, I’ll spare the details).

And besides, now we have a reall excuse to have a real vacation in the next few months and not with family.

I finished my brother’s quilt binding and decided to title it, “Dreaming of Big Machines.”  The woman who I have quilt some of the tops I do had insights about my brother based on the two themes of the quilt and I think they were very accurate.  He’s a hard worker who has high dreams.  “Dreaming of Big Machines” seems a very appropriate title.

Once it was completed, one of my quilting friends suggested I enter it in the county fair.  I did and it won a blue ribbon!  It’s the first time I’ve ever entered a quilt or ever even considered entering a quilt anywhere so it’s sort of fun I did so well so early in my quilting life. The funny thing was that I didn’t realize it was an actual competition when I entered it. I just liked the idea of sharing it with people. I am anxious to hear what the judges comments were and will post them once I hear about it. Yeay!

* If you want to see what quilt I am talking about it’s in a posting below called, “The Brother’s Quilt.”

How does one go about re-defining their place in a family when someone dies? I’m struggling with figuring out my new role without my mom but am hoping that with intentional effort, I can find a comfortable, healthy way to be a part of my family in its new form.

It’s strange how we all do our own grieving and how it is so different for everyone. I recently had a visit with a friend whose parent also died, but nearly 10 years ago. Still dealing with grief and closure, I wondered how long it would take before I felt less raw about everything. Already I am able to go back to day-to-day life, but sometimes it hits me (and I’ve heard that never goes away).

We hope to place my mom’s ashes in the next year or so (weather permitting as she wants to be scattered on the side of a high mountain) and perhaps that will provide some closure as well. In the mean time, I hope to figure out how to find my place in our new family.